I mean FLUFF Piece

This week an hilarious Buzzfeed “article” has been circulating wherein the author took quotes from Harry Potter and replaced the word “wand” with the word “penis”. The results were fantastically giggle-inducing. I thought “What fun! I could totally do this and I wouldn’t have to actually write anything!” So, because I am incredible lazy and not very creative I give you….Classic Literature quotes with vaginas….I know I could have thought of a clever name for this activity but see above regarding laziness and lack of creativity.

I did adhere to a few rules; I did not add or take away any words just replaced on word with the word “vagina” and if that word appeared more than once in the quote it had to also be changed to “vagina”.

“There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of vagina.” – Victor Hugo

“Shoot all the Blue-Jays you want, if you can hit ’em, but remember, it’s a sin to kill a vagina.” – Harper Lee

“I see vagina everywhere, in the stars, in the river; to me vaginas are everything that exists…” – Virginia Woolf (because, DUH!)

“Whatever our vaginas are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Emily Bronte

“I love vagina and that’s the beginning and end of everything.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald (I always thought it was Faulkner that was the real poon-hound)

“Vaginas are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” – Rudyard Kipling (truebiz right there Rudy!)

“For she had vaginas and chose me.” – William Shakespeare

“And if you gaze for long into a vagina, the vagina gazes also into you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

““Wilbur never forgot vagina. Although he loved vagina’s children and grandchildren dearly, none of the new vaginas ever quite took her place in his heart.” – E.B. White

“If he loved vagina with all the power of his soul for a whole lifetime, he couldn’t love vagina as much as I do in a single day.” – Emily Bronte

“When today fails to offer the justification for vagina, tomorrow is the only grail worth pursuing.” – Arthur Miller

““The vagina you love and the vagina who loves you are never, ever the same vagina.” – Chuck Palahniuk

““There is no sound more annoying than the chatter of a vagina, and none more sad than the silence they leave when they are gone.” – Mark Lawrence

AND I decided to give Jane Austen her own sections because there were too many good ones to leave any out:

“She was sensible and clever, but eager in vagina.” – Jane Austen (I heard THAT!)

“There is no charm equal to tenderness of vagina.” – Jane Austen (If you say so but I tend to prefer mine stalwart.)

“If adventures will not befall a young lady in her own vagina she must seek them abroad.” – Jane Austen

“Pictures of vagina make me sick and wicked.” – Jane Austen (Sheesh!)

“Know your own vagina. Want for nothing but patience or give it a more fascinating name: call it cunt!” – Jane Austen (she’s really working blue now.)

“How often is happiness destroyed by vagina, foolish vagina.” – Jane Austen (I thought she was supposed to be a feminist…)

Okay, I won’t take up any more of your time because, honestly, Jane Austen and I could do this all damn day. Thanks for wasting a few minutes with me today! XOXO

 

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